Critical Deconstuction

The site AllOnGeorgia published a column earlier this week by Josh Brown. It was terrible, which makes it perfect for the first of our ongoing series inspired by the great Fire Joe Morgan blog in which we critically deconstruct the points made and try to make some sense of them. 

What used to be a tough country is dwarfing into some strange soft glob of apologies and hashtags. In 1944, 18-22 year old men stormed the beaches of Normandy, France under heavy artillery, swimming through a sea of red, watching their best friends die. In 2015, 18-22 year old men are fighting bad stuff on Twitter.

Clearly we need to be at war or something. I mean, it's not like our country hasn't been in a continuous war in Iraq and Afghanistan for nearly 15 years. Clearly our country has gone soft. We need to be in perpetual war so that we have a never-ending stream of 18-22 year olds fighting and dying. More than 4,400 Americans died storming the beaches of Normandy but those who survived were tough. We need more of that in our country
 

Our country is getting soft. No wait. It’s been soft, actually. It’s getting softer. And softer.

Our country was strong D-Day. Perhaps even until the end of World War II. I don't have a date for exactly when the softness first started. Maybe after Vietnam. I can't be bothered to actually quantify my justification for when the softness began but it's probably around when I needed it to be soft for a flimsy justification for this piece of garbage I'm about to write.

Look at American sports. Remember when Richard Sherman talked trash to Michael Crabtree and every dork with a cellphone lost the plot and called Sherman an uneducated thug? Sherman proclaimed that he was the “best corner in the game” and called Michael Crabtree a “sorry receiver.” During the aftermath of this on social media, you would have thought Richard Sherman had threatened to bomb the entire city of New York or something. Now, it’s really cool for an athlete to be overly nice and thank the Lord after a game. Being confident, aggressive, and talking down to your opponent is now frowned upon.

Who uses the word "dork" anymore? I'll tell you, dorks do. They are the only ones still using this word. And the outrage certainly had nothing to do with the racial overtones. An a angry black man yelling to a pretty white reporter had nothing to do with the outrage. It used to be cool to be a badass, now it's not. It used to be cool to say "far out" and " ya dig" and now it's not. Times, they  are a changin and the author here doesn't like it one bit. Disrespect, that used to be cool, but now it's not.

Can you imagine if Muhammad Ali boxed in 2015? These poor frail reporters and sports bloggers would hate him and think he was just too darn mean. They would tweet things like, “Ali offended another fellow boxer by calling him ugly. #AliShouldBeFined” 

The same Ali that went to jail rather than go to war? That's the guy you want to now use for the example of toughness? The man who was vilified for evading the draft and eventually sent to prison for refusing to go to war. That guy is the one you want to use as an example of toughness when you just got done telling us that kids are soft today because they didn't go to war? And if Ali boxed in 2015, he'd be the same as if any other boxer boxed in 2015. He'd be largely ignored by the media because that's where boxing is in this country.

Nothing says “our country has reached it’s softest and most delicate state yet” like the recent “No Bullying” phenomenon. If you have a kid or know a kid in the public school system, you’ve had some sort of exposure to this silly campaign. You even see it at little league baseball games. Teaching your kid to not bully others is a good thing, but teaching them how to put a bully in a chokehold is more important. If you’re a bully, are you really going to visit Obama’s no bullying website and educate yourself on how not to bully others?

Remember kids, violence is always the answer. If someone is violent towards you, ignore what Jesus said and simply respond with violence. It's what a Man would do. Not Jesus, mind you, or Martin Luther King Jr. or Gandhi or others who won major changes in their society through non-violent means. Ignore them. Instead, respond to violence with violence.

 My friend Gorg brings up a great point in regards to the softness of this once strong country of ours. Gorg says that “causes” are a big contributing factor to the softness of America. I think Gorg is right.

People need causes to make themselves feel better. They start a cause, make a bunch of bumper stickers, create a website and a hashtag (#stopbullying) and they believe that they are making a difference. It makes them feel good. Dedicating a week or a month to a cause gives people a sense of accomplishment. Let’s be brutally honest here. Did a cancer awareness hashtag save your family member’s life? People actually think that #stopbullying is going to stop bullying. People actually think that #cancerawareness is fighting cancer. And as of late, people actually think that #stopISIS is actually going to stop ISIS.

Well, let's see, I googled "cancer awareness saved my life" and it seems that Amy Robach, the Good Morning America anchor, credits "Breast Cancer Awareness Month" for saving her life. Now, I don't know about you, but I'm glad Robach didn't die. You may feel differently and want her dead. That's on you, but the whole "if it saves one life, it's worth it" can be true, and in this case, it did save a life. No, it wasn't a family member, but I'm able to look beyond what can only benefit me and determine if something is good or not. But carry on with the idea that knowledge isn't important and spreading awareness about something isn't necessary. 

The abandonment of teaching children how to win is also making our country even softer. I grew up playing baseball. Not the expensive travel ball stuff… I’m talking about the normal city leagues. I had coaches who would actually get mad at us, show emotion, and yell at us when we made stupid mistakes. These days, if a coach yells at a 10 year old, he’s fired. Furthermore, back then, every team didn’t get a damn trophy. The first place team got a trophy. Sometimes, the second place team got one, too. But, it was always agreed upon that the second place trophies were much smaller than the first place trophies.

The history of youth sports was never about winning. Youth sports were originally designed to give kids something to do so they wouldn't get in trouble. And I don't know where the author lives, but all the youth sports coaches here are volunteers doing the best they can. They're not going to get "fired." And the stated goal of most county recreation departments is to foster love and enjoyment of sports, not winning. The idea is that kids will enjoy the sport and continue exercising through adulthood. But with obesity rates continuing to rise, yelling at kids and making them not enjoy the sport seems like a great way for America to continue to become soft.

 In 2015, literally every team gets a trophy and is told, “Great job!”

If your kid’s baseball team sucked last year and came in last place, you shouldn’t tell them that they did a great job and you shouldn’t take them to Pizza Hut to celebrate an incredible season. You should tell them that they came in last place, and teach them what they need to do in order to never be in last place again.

The author's biography says he's a baseball fan, so he of all people should understand the team nature of baseball and how one kid can't make a team great. Yet because the team didn't win, I shouldn't tell a kid he, individually, did a great job. By this measure, I assume the Braves' coaches are telling Freddie Freeman how he's a loser and what he needs to do differently to make the Braves winners. 

Being tough used to be cool. Things like Rambo and fast cars were cool. Bo Jackson was cool. The Ninja Turtles were cool because they took zero crap from anyone. Now, it’s really cool to be safe. Look at new Honda commercials. You’ve got some frail guy in a white lab coat talking about Honda’s safety rating. “Safety” has consumed our culture. “Be safe.”, “Have a safe trip!” Safe. Safe. Safe.

Are we really comparing Bo Jackson and the Ninja Turtles to a Honda commercial? No one, not even Honda, is touting their vehicles in those commercials as cool. They're saying "hey, you're taking your kid to his baseball game, if something happens, you don't want her to die, do you?" This may be the single dumbest argument in this entire article so far, and that's impressive considering the dumpster fire this word salad is.

Donald Trump has recently captured the media when his bravado and insults at other candidates. If you think Donald Trump is a big ole meany face, then don’t read any of John Adams writings and don’t read anything about Theodore Roosevelt. Whether you like Donald Trump’s ideas about government or not, you have to admit, Donald Trump is a man. A real man.

Remember, to be a "real man" you need to insult people regularly. That's what makes a man a man. 

Our country has become so soft that we cannot make fun of people anymore. There are some people in this world who NEED to be made fun of.

We appreciate you writing this column so you can be the poster boy for people who need to be made fun of.

People who loot and burn down a CVS after a cop shooting should be made fun of.

Those people should be arrested.

Here in Georgia, people who fly the old Georgia state flag because they think the new Georgia state flag (which was the actual flag of the Confederacy) is not “Confederate like the old flag” should be made fun of.

People should be made fun of for flying any flag that fondly looks upon a failed attempt to leave this country, on this we agree.

People who wear their pants below their butt while exposing their underwear in public places should be made fun of.

Wouldn't it have been easier to just say "people different from me should be made fun of?"

Islam, a religion that demonizes women and calls for the killing of homosexuals, should be made fun of. But no. It’s 2015, and we cannot make fun of anybody or anything because we are taught to tolerate everything.

Judaism's holy book calls for the stoning of adulterers and Christianity's holy book calls for women to remain silent. But please, tell me more about how Islam should be singled out for ridicule. 

Am I advocating that we bully others and walk around slinging offensive insults at everyone? No, of course not. But, I do think we need to change. The first step should be to start raising men instead of boys.

 Really, you're not advocating that we bully others and walk around slinging insults at others? Didn't you just get done praising Donald Trump for doing exactly that? The entire premise of this column was that we need tough men, men who cool and violent and cool. Now you're trying to walk it back and say that's not the case? A real man stands by his opinions and doesn't try to qualify them. You don't see Trump doing that and you were very clear that he is a real man. Physician, heal thyself.